Deferred Gratification

Have you given some thought to your potential? Do you know what your potential is? All of us have potential—not all of us maximize our potential. More distressing is that some of us actively destroy our potential with our behavior and the pursuit of QUICK FIXES and an unwillingness to delay gratification. The credit crisis is an example of how instant gratification can destroy your potential! Another way to destroy our potential is to focus on your past mistakes. By looking backwards you will miss what’s in front of you. You cannot change your past but your past should change you—face your failures and correct the flaws that lead you to the failures. Here are some helpful hints:

see yourself clearly;
admit your flaws honestly;
discover your strengths joyfully;
build on those strengths passionately.

You can reach your potential tomorrow if you dedicate yourself to grow today. Remember, to change your world, you must first change yourself. You DO HAVE THE POWER to change YOU.

Hope

One of the traits of a WINNER is the ability to hold on to HOPE. Never underestimate the power of HOPE. Winston Churchill was once asked by a reporter what his country’s greatest weapon was against Hitler’s Nazi regime. Remember, England had to endure daily bombings from Germany that decimated structures and took many lives. For years, England lived under a “Black Out” situation and had to ration food. Families were torn apart as children were sent to the country to live so that they wouldn’t succumb to the bombings.

Without pausing for a moment Winston Churchill said: “It was what England’s greatest weapon has always been – HOPE.” People will continue working, struggling, and trying if they have hope. Your ability to maintain an attitude of hope comes from seeing the POTENTIAL in every situation and staying positive despite circumstances. POSITIVE THINKING will lead to POSITIVE OUTCOMES! Never be discouraged that you can’t see the outcome today, your seeds of positive thinking are growing right underneath the surface.

Know How To Be Positive

I often listen to Joyce Meyer in the morning as I am getting ready for my day. I am always fed and today was no exception.

Her message centered on a period of time in her life that she wanted to put her faith and beliefs into practice and wanted to change her propensity to be negative. She stated that she consciously, daily worked not to be negative as this was her major “speed” when confronted with any challenge. She in other words, would react negatively to any challenge or perceived disappointment. She was convinced that this approach to life was 1) bringing negative events into her life because when you are stuck on your negative channel this leaves you OPEN to negative events; 2) making her less effective in her ministry; 3) not uplifting to others; and 4) preventing positive events and thoughts from blessing her.

After about 6 months of making a concerted effort not to be negative, she was still wrestling with the fact that this new behavior was not bearing fruit so began to question why. It was revealed to her that although she had made a conscious effort not to be negative, she had made no effort to be POSITIVE! She hadn’t gotten stuck in the POSITIVE Channel yet. This principle is so simple and yet very PROFOUND! JUST BECAUSE YOU STOPPED BEING NEGATIVE IS NOT A GUARANTEE THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO BE POSITIVE. You have to work at BOTH. PHEW! WHAT A REVELATION! WHAT AN “AHA” MOMEMT!

If we all practice being positive look at all the possibilities that we will be blessed with. It starts with you and it starts with me!

Roots

When you think about your future what process do you use? Do you take time daily to think about where you want to be with your life’s pursuits next month, next year or tomorrow? When you think about the future you want to provide for your family, what do you picture?

All success starts with your thinking and forming a mental image. During the early stages, your vision for your future is always incredibly fragile. New hopes and dreams are fragile because we haven’t had time yet to let them grow or develop. New dreams, just like new seedlings have to be nurtured daily. When a seedling oak tree is only a year old, a child can tear it out by its roots, but once it’s had some time to become firmly established, even a hurricane can’t knock it down.

Do you notice that if you share your dreams too soon with some folk, they spend their time telling you why something can’t be accomplished? It is easy to deter you in the beginning on your quest, however once your dream takes hold LOOK OUT WORLD. Some times failure is just a matter of not taking the time in the beginning to create good root structure!

Communication

Leadership implies that you have followers! You are not really a leader unless when you look around there are people willing to follow you! People, in my experience, will not follow you if they don’t know what you want or where you are going. Sometimes this is as function of ineffective communication. To improve communication follow these 4 truths:

Simplify the message – BIG words only serve to put a spotlight on the communicator. Keep every message simple and straight forward.
See the person to who you are delivering message. Connect with your audience.
Show the truth—believe in what you sat and then live it!
Seek a response – every time you speak to people give them something to feel, something to remember, and something to do.

As a leader/Winner, it is your responsibility to effectively communicate with yourself, with your love ones, with our customers and with each other. Great COMMUNICATION leads to GREAT results!

Think Outside the Bowl

Did you know that the common Gold Fish will grow to fit the size of the aquarium or bowl it lives in? My husband and youngest son created a fresh water pond for me one year for mother’s day. We stocked the pond with Koi fish and other tropical fish until it got too expensive to keep stocking the pond—these out door ponds serve as dinner and lunch for raccoons and other critters we have in our back yard.

We started putting simple gold fish in the pond and the gold fish that survived got bigger and bigger. One of those gold fish got to be about 10 inches long. Apparently all living creatures will be limited by the size of their environment, including us. If your current circumstance does nothing to help you grow, you’re going to have a hard time enlarging yourself to reach your potential. Your current “bowl” may be your job, your lack of education, a less than supportive relationship, your image of yourself, negative thinking, your dependence on what other’s think of you. Whatever the “bowl” is that limits you, leave that bowl and create an environment of growth around you. We may not be able to define the bowl we find ourselves in but we are all responsible for remaining in that bowl! Live today to REACH your potential. I believe in you today and all days!

Michael Phelps

I hope you have been following the Olympics and especially the Men’s Swimming events. Michael Phelps came to China with an objective – to be the most decorated swimmer in history. No one has to guess his Motivation—it is evident every time he gets into the pool. He swims as if the race he is swimming is his last race. He gives his all and doesn’t hold back for the next race.

On Wednesday night he swan the individual 200 meter breast stroke only to swim 1 hour later in the relay. He won gold and set world records in both. The commentators were all commenting that he should save his strength and pace himself however Michael Phelps has conditioned himself for this time in his life. When interviewed, he indicated that he has lived, breathed, slept swimming for 4 years. He has put everything else on hold to achieve what is unfolding before our eyes. He swam 5 hours every day for the past 4 years and concentrated on molding himself into a SWIMMING MACHINE!

If you ever wondered what it takes to be AT THE TOP OF YOUR GAME we all know. He has left nothing to chance in achieving his goal! He is a WINNER and has taught countless number of young boys and girls that time, commitment and vision will remove all obstacles from your path.

In a recent interview, Michael Phelps indicated that there were days that he didn’t want to swim another inch let alone another mile. He didn’t want to be near anything that smelled or chlorine or saline. He wanted a normal around adult life in which he could hang out with his friends. He then remembered what he wanted to achieve – 8 gold medals in the 29th Olympiad and jumped into the pool to do more laps. We can all experience that level of commitment each day if we examine our motivation.

Book of Job

I am sure that you all have heard the story of Job. As you are aware Job was a Jewish nobleman who had a large family, wealth, and a great life. Many people admired him and he had many friends. A lot of folk assumed that he was a good man because his outward possessions were plentiful and therefore he had to be righteous, correct?

Well then Job hit a bad patch. In fact, Biblical scholars teach that the “Bad Patch” was actually nine years in length. During this nine year period of time Job lost all his wealth, his children, his grandchildren, his health and yes his “friends” because the same friends that support him because of his outward “blessings” now assumed that he was really a bad person because only bad persons have the kind of bad luck Job was experiencing.

To ward the end of this nine year period, Job was left with his own thoughts, his relationship with God and his wife who admonished him to curse God and then die to be released from the misery that Job was experiencing. Job then learned a very important lesson. It was okay to question his circumstances but it was not okay to doubt the love of his Creator. Job learned that he was not defined by his possessions or his family but defined by his beliefs and his relationship with God. When he embraced that concept that we come in the world with nothing and therefore will leave with nothing he understood the ultimate lesson in this life. Prior to his losses, Job never had to ponder whether he was a RECEIVER or a BLOCKER. Job in the end was a RECEIVER and over the next 9 years of his life everything that was lost was restored nine fold. Blessing are always ready to be received!

What motivates you?

Have you given some thought as to what motivates you on a daily basis? What is the first thought you have when you awaken? What is the last thought before you fall asleep? When you are struggling to find an ounce of strength to keep going on, what do you think about? If you haven’t thought what motivates you, today is a good day to start because whatever it is that motivates you will also define your life and your future.

Your motivation can also dictate what path you follow in life; if you are motivated to be the best you can be then your choices will reflect that motivation; if you are motivated by being negative then your choices will also reflect that. If you have no motivation then the vacuum that exists in your life will be filled with the motivation of others and your life will have no compass, no course. My hope and desire for you is that you are motivated toward EXCELLENCE because that is what winners do; that you embrace each day to make the most of it for yourself, your family and the human race. The human race needs more positively motivated people to ensure that we continue on this little rock called planet earth! Embrace motivation today!

Unconditional Love

Families are very important in understanding ‘unconditional love”. Family members will love you through all your ISSUES. They may not like you but they will always love you. Take care of your families today and every day; your families are the foundation that will anchor you through the storms that will come!

You have a Gold Mine inside of you! It’s called potential. Our potential is probably our greatest untapped resource. Many people busy themselves with tasks as opposed to reaching in finding their true calling and therefore their real potential. If you begin today to concentrate on ONE MAIN GOAL and continue to improve to meeting that goal then you will find JOY today. Reaching your true potential is like finding the missing compass in your life—you TRUE NORTH! Don’t settle for just leaving; spend some quite time with yourself to discover and reach to attain your potential. It just takes a minute; it just takes your deciding that today is the day you discover and actualize your potential.

History Was Made

Well history was established last night. An African American accepted the Presidential nomination of a major political party. This is a remarkable event and I sincerely hope each of you and your children were a part of it. Regardless of whether you a Republican, Democrat or Independent; whether you are male of female or whether you are an African American, an American of Hispanic origin or white, this was a historic event and a historic day.

We should all celebrate because less than 265 years since the abolishment of slavery and 45 years to the date of the “I have a DREAM speech” by Martin Luther King, this country put forth the nomination of the most qualified candidate to represent the Democrat party to become the President of the United States and leader of the free world. He is a senator, he is a lawyer, he is a husband, he is a father, he is of mixed racial parentage and in the US is classified by the US census bureau as an African American. We should all be proud to be Americans today and God Bless You and God Bless the UNITED States of America!

Tapes Playing In Your Head

Have you noticed that people are FIRST influence by what they see? This is a human trait and is probably a good protective mechanism and a hold over from our old brain. People’s first impressions are always on what they see which is why both Hilliary Clinton and Barack Obama have had the challenges they have had in their current pursuits. Folk are not used to SEEING either women or African Americans in positions of power.

We also influence our children in the same way. If you have children, then you’ve probably observed this. No matter what you tell your children to do, their natural inclination is to follow what they see you doing. Do you ever wonder why you have some of the negative or positive “tapes” running in your head? Some of those tapes and memories are things your parents gave you – “respect your elders”; “don’t trust strangers”, “Go to work everyday not matter how sick you may feel”; “See how you can get over on people”; “Save your money”; “Live on credit”. At some point we should all evaluate the tapes we have running that prevent us from critically evaluating every person and situation on its own merits. This is the process of maturation and will create “new tapes” that we can call our own. Critical thinking skills are necessary building blocks for success.

Legacy

Have you given some thought to what YOUR LEGACY will be? How will you be remembered? Will people say you struggled all your life or will they say although you seemed to struggle you always had hope in your soul and a vision for the future? Will they say you had money or will they say you used your money to assist others who were less fortunate? Will people say that what they remember most of you were that you always complained or that you were a change agent to improve processes and outcomes? People of vision leave a LEGACY that outlives them. Each of us has the seeds of hope for a better tomorrow if we would allow them to germinate and grow—in fact my belief is that we actively have to stop these seeds from growing because our natural essence is to be positive people of vision. Take some time to think and plan your legacy and contribution to yourself, your family and the greater society. Don’t give in to the negativism that will prevent your legacy from coming forward. You were not put on the earth just to work and pay bills-you are here because you have something meaningful to contribute!

Face Your Flaws

Keeping on the theme of realizing your potential, one of the critical steps you have to take to reach your potential is to FACE YOUR FLAWS. We all have them and the quicker you are to realize them, the quicker you will be able to reach your potential. To face your flaws, follow these simple steps:



See yourself clearly. One of the things I used to do is to wear long sleeved garments because I have fat arms. It dawned on me that I would have fat arms no matter if I hid them or not. If I didn’t want fat arms then I had to do something about it—hiding my arms won’t make them thin or sculpted.
Admit your flaws honestly. When you make mistakes why spend time trying to explain why you made the mistake. Embrace your mistake and move on. Many of us continue to make the same mistakes because instead of embracing our flaws we want to explain them away.
Discover your strengths joyfully. We all have strengths so embrace them and celebrate them. Don’t be shy about your strengths; Lord knows we will all point out your weaknesses so if you are the only person celebrating your strengths, then do so with gusto!
Build upon your strengths passionately and daily. You can reach your potential tomorrow if you dedicate yourself to growth today.


To change our world you have to first change yourself. If you are not interested in changing the world then you will be changed by the world. CHANGE is inevitable so get in front of it so that you are not caught in the vortex of the change itself.

Practice Prosperity

A wise man once said, truth and prosperity is like a gentle wind that will increase your life when practiced. Can you actually practice prosperity? The answer is yes! Most of us practice poverty by over spending but the opposite is also true. Take the first step in your journey to economic freedom and cut up those credit cards!

Historic times

Well we are only 1 day away from the Opening Day Ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics! We are truly living is exciting times. I can remember when China was closed to Americans and you couldn’t get a visa to go and visit. Now thousands of Americans are flocking to China to see young people compete in sports games to be the best in the world. It lifts my spirits to look forward to these historic events. My belief is that as long as you can look forward to tomorrow you have the capacity to succeed. Although tomorrow is never promised to us, that doesn’t stop us from looking forward and not backwards. Enjoy today for yourself and make a plan for tomorrow; treat each other with respect and support so that our customers can continue experience the excellent customer service they have grown accustomed to.

Reacting

All of us have on occasion “reacted” to less than positive information, especially when the information of dis-information is directed to you. When faced with that situation, I often reflect on the INFORMATION to evaluate whether there is truth that can be gleaned because information is neither positive or negative; information helps us to put situations and events in context and allows us to be better people and make better judgment. Information is also a MIRROR that reflects the content of character of the person providing the information and if it caused you to react or act inappropriately then has exercised power that it would not have had if you had not reacted inappropriately. When I get negative information, especially about myself or feel that I have been misunderstood, I have to remind myself to take my “BIG GIRL PILL” and move on. The old nursery rhyme is appropriate, “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me”. There is truth in this statement; it takes a mature personal to embrace the principle.

Remember that when you are participating in negativism against someone else, the boomerang of gossip and negative information will always find its owner. We can all stop the power of negativism by being Positive Thinking People.

Fear of Success

Did you know that SUCCESS is FEARED by the majority of the human race? Those that are not successful FEAR those that are and FEAR that their success will continue to be the mirror of failure through which the unsuccessful are defined. Successful people FEAR losing their success and being among the ranks of those that have not gained the success they wanted. Most of us don’t understand how to receive and use success.

The truth, and it really is the truth, is that YOUR SUCCESS is only limited by your thinking. If you think small you will always reap small. If you THINK LARGE you will reap large. Success is only a matter of changing your thinking. Farmers understand this cycle of sowing and reaping. Generous people receive generosity; petty folk receive pettiness in return; negative thinking folk receive negativism; positive thinking folk are successful.

Change your thinking today and become successful. If you don’t know how to think positively just re-read the Morning Messages you receive from me. If you think about the message, the positive thinking and encouragement will make you successful.

Bonding

Teams that don’t bond can’t build. These teams never become a cohesive unit. For a team to be successful, the teammates have to know that they will look out for one another. When a team member cares about no one but him or herself, the whole team suffers. This principle is operative whether you are talking about families, teams at work or an athletic team.

Relationship building is a CORE requirement for teams to be functional versus dysfunctional. You have to know each other to give each other the benefit of the doubt. The longer you stay together as a team the more positive impact you will make. I am always puzzled by people that leave a team just because the situation is difficult. Difficult periods during the life of a team actually give the team character. Unless a relation is abusive, it’s probably worth working through and in. Going to a new team involves the same commitment and perhaps more because it will take building new relationships. Don’t throw away a relationship just because it’s difficult. Stick to and through all relationships to preserve the investment you have made.

Price of Integrity

What price do you place on INTEGRITY? It has been my experience that INTEGRITY is the foundation upon which many other qualities are built, such as respect, dignity and trust. It’s critical to maintain integrity by taking care of the little things. What people forget is that decision makers often entrust others with BIG projects because they have been able to be counted on with little projects!

Ethical principles are not flexible. A little white lie is still a lie. Theft is theft, whether its $1.00 or $1,000 or $1,000,000. Theft is theft whether you steel time from your employer by not working when you are supposed to be working or having a friend clock you in or out. Integrity commits itself to character over personal gain, to people over material things, to service over power, to principle over convenience, to the long term over the immediate.

Keep in mind, a forest like Integrity, takes a long time to develop. It only takes a match to wipe it out.

"Me" Players

Every WINNING TEAM has three groups of players:

The STARTERS who directly add value to the organization or who directly influence its course;

The Bench players who add value, indirectly or who support the starter; and

A core group within the STARTERS who are the folk without whom the team would fall apart.

These groups define the TEAM—they are the folk who are devoted to the vision of the TEAM and the organization they support. There are other folk in the organization whose only emphasis is themselves. You can readily recognize them because their conversation is always about ME as opposed to the TEAM or the organization. You will find that the “ME” non-TEAM members not only detract from the energy that could be devoted to forward momentum but also consume needed resources that could be devoted to the TEAM, such as excessive absenteeism or tardiness which puts more work on the Team Players, or their constant talking and workplace antics that distract TEAM PLAYERS from their work, or negativism that only serves to bring every one down.

One of my goals is to turn these “ME” non-TEAM players around by not focusing on their issues and to keep in front of them the objectives of the TEAM. All of us can help these “ME” folk by encouraging them to be part of the TEAM. We can’t save everyone but we can with effort get more folk on the TEAM. I need your help!

Positive Confrontation

Many people avoid confrontation. I know I see a lot of that in our Department. What I see more of is that we are more willing to talk about others as opposed to providing positive feedback to them. Conversely, I have also seen some of us provide constructive feedback only to be maligned and mis-understood. If you are lucky enough to have someone invest in you by providing feedback count yourself blessed!

Some folk don’t provide feedback because they fear being dislikes and rejected. Others are afraid confrontation will make things worse by creating anger and resentment in the person they confront. But avoiding confrontation always worsens the situation. Positive confrontation can be a win-win situation, a chance to help and develop people if you do it with respect and with the other person’s best interest a heart. Positive confrontation is a sure sign that you care for a person and have their best interests at heart!

We can all be ASSERTIVE as opposed to AGGRESSIVE! WINNERS have developed the ability to know the difference and act upon it. The difference is that aggression always leaves victims—assertiveness will lift them up.

Forever

A week ago, my best friend lost her son-in-law very suddenly. He was 31 years old and had been married to her daughter for 4 years. Her daughter had just finished her residency in Internal Medicine and she and her husband and her 10 month old baby were moving so that she could start her fellowship in cardiology. This young couple had their whole life ahead of them on Thursday, July 17th but by Friday July 18th everyone’s life had changed FOREVER.

FOREVER is always guaranteed and are you prepared for it? Yes it is tragic that someone so young dies and it’s tragic that this young woman has to now forge a life for herself and her child without her soul mate. What strikes me is how her family has rallied around her and ensured that as she is stumbling through this life changing event she will never hit the ground. That’s what family and friends do -—they ground you so that if you stumble you never hit the ground. Take care of the relationships you have with your significant other, your children, your extended family and friends! They are very precious gifts that sustain us through the good and bad times — our FOREVERS are always around the corner. As you face yours count yourself blessed when your family and friends shore you up!

Influence

Our influence has less to do with our position than with the life we live. It’s not about position but production. Not the education we get but the empowerment we give. It’s about your credibility and whether you can be the same person when you are experiencing success versus challenges.

Do you make decisions based on how the decision affects you or how the decision may affect others more positively than the decision affects you? Keep in mind always that a rising tide lefts all boats! If you are a giving person, your hand and heart are always open and ready to receive as well.

A lot of folk work harder on their own image than their integrity. Winners always emphasize the success of a process and everyone’s contribution to that success. If we spend our entire time try to promote our own self interests and “watching our backs” we will never see the opportunities ahead of us. Your success is guaranteed because you are a WINNER! Seize your opportunities today and BELIEVE in your HOPES and DREAMS and watch them come true.

Dependability

Dependability is important to every team’s success. Everyone on the team knows upon whom they can and can’t depend on/ Allow me to share with you my concept of dependable people:

folk whose motives are pure and not for the promotion of self interests;
folk who are responsible;
folk who exhibit sound thinking;
folk who have good judgment;
folk who have critical thinking skills;
folk who have a consistent track record of contributions.

If you can’t depend on teammates all the time then you can’t really depend on them any of the time. Consistency takes a depth of character that enables people to follow through no matter how tired, distracted or overwhelmed they are. Dependable team members punch through obstacles and walls to ensure that the interest of the team is promoted over their own self-interests.

Regardless of the “TEAM” you find yourself in, I think these principles can assist you.

Are you prepared?

Are you prepared? Meaning, have you prepared yourself for the life you are leading or want to lead? Are you prepared for both SUCCESS and FAILURES? If you want to prepare yourself so that you can help yourself and others as challenges and opportunities present themselves, then follow these simple steps.

Where are you heading? Do you have a goal? Do you have a stated objective or are you leaving your future to chance?
What will the conditions be along the way? If you know where you are heading have you written down the challenges and opportunities that you will encounter along the way?
What price will you have to pay or are you willing to pay to get there? If your life trip is going to take longer than you anticipated have you stored enough spiritual, emotional and human capital to pay the price?
Are your motives and resources aligned to get you to your desired destination? Do you know why you have picked your destination and are you sure its for you? Some folk seek career counseling or spiritual counseling before a life changing undertaking.
Do you have an attitude to receive the outcome? Some folk are not ready to accept either success or failure. Have you thought through what you would do with either outcome?
Are you ready to take the first step? Instead of talking about what you would like to do are you ready to start.

No rational person PLANS to FAIL and yet all of us FAIL to PLAN! You can change the events of your life by planning for your DESTINATION! GO AND GET YOUR CHEESE TODAY!

Anything is Possible

I was blessed to be exposed to two great television programs this weekend. The first was a “60 Minute” news article on the National Orchestra of Venezuela. This orchestra was started by 1 man who has a passion for classical music and the under privilege children of the slums of Caracas. He believes that classical music can transform the lives of children who before his program only had violence, crimes and drugs to turn to, to relieve themselves of the spiritual and moral void caused by poverty. To date, 300,000 children have gone through his program and they are transforming a nation. The best of them tour the world through the national orchestra and have carved out a life for the rest of them. Hey learn humanity through the classic arts and the power of the vision of one person really touched my soul!

If you haven’t seen CNN’s “Black in America” you are missing a treat! Saturday’s segment was on Martin Luther King and the 40n years since his assassination. Sunday’s segment was on the “Reclaiming the Dream” and the need for intact families to be promoted as a concept in Black America. The emphasis was on:

responsible parenting which includes a commitment to procreating in a 2 parent household;
the promotion of responsible and mature relationships that nurture both parties;
men taking financial responsibilities for their families;
women understanding the difference between sexual activity and the production of a baby; and
the need to promote healthy neighborhoods through nuclear families.

The principles espoused by both programs touched that part of me that says “any thing is possible” when you believe in the Power of One and the Power of You! Be your beautiful, proactive and creative selves today and embrace the power of the positive decisions you will make today.

Magnify Your Strengths

The weekend is upon us and its time to rejuvenate our internal engines. One of the spiritual exercises you can perform daily is to magnify one of your strengths on a daily basis. Visualize 1strength you have and talk about it all day long. If you do for seven days in a row then the strength you have magnified will become a core competency that others also experience. It is easy for all of us to gravitate to weaknesses and short comings in ourselves and in others. If you are always correcting your weaknesses and the weaknesses of others, negative energy and thinking will take over.

Instead if you magnify your strengths and the strengths of others, a larger good will take place—the rising tide lifts all boats principle will take over any negative energy that exists in your life and the life of the team. There is a technique that is taught in business school and that is the technique of catching folk doing something positive and then complimenting them on it. You can use this technique on yourself, your children, your significant others, your team mates and all members of your team. This is will focus attention on sharpening the skills of all involved. You can compliment positive qualities at the same time that you point out weaknesses that prevent yourself and others from being all that they can be. A rule of thumb is that for every weakness that is pointed out should be preceded by 6 positive feedback opportunities!

Martyrs

Do you agree that relationships can get messy? Do you think that people harbor personal agendas and attempt to mask their true motives? Do you think that people try to promote their private agendas and also try and make themselves sound nobler than they really are? If you have answered yes to these questions then you ARE PART OF THE MAJORITY! Everyone promotes their own self interests—that’s called being human so embrace this trait and learn to harness its power for good and not evil.

When we harness the power of self interest you actually see positive societal effects – the inventor of the Jarvic Heart wanted to ensure that no one had to die from heart failure like his father did because a replacement heart was not available; the Alexander Bell invented the tungsten light when he was witness to an operation that was difficult because it was performed under candlelight. The US government just bailed out Fannie Mae Mortgage Company because the collapse of this lender would further hurt the economy. Self interest is a healthy trait—taken to excesses is not healthy but excess is not healthy in any case.

Martyrs are also people who promote their self interests. Martin Luther King is a martyr whose life’s pursuit was to eliminate racism and the ill effects that are the results of inequality. He was not only promoting his self interest but the interest of the greater good. Mahatma Ghandi is a martyr whose life’s pursuit was the elimination of colonialism and the ill effects that result for inequity and racism. You have self-martyrs in your personal and work life that you interact with. When taken to the extreme these martyrs are those folk that always wear their emotions on their sleeves and spend the majority of the time focused on how life is un-fair to them. They don’t have the time to contribute to the greater good because they are always focused on themselves. You may want to remind such martyrs that all of us are responsible for our actions and also the negative actions that we experience as a result of INACTION! They need to take their BIG PERSON PILL daily and get a healthy does of perspective.

If you embrace your beautiful, productive selves daily, there is little time for self pity and more time for action. Actualize your inner power today and take control of something in your life that is out of control. The journey of 1000 miles starts today with 1 step.

Healthy Identity

Here’s a question. Is your SELF ESTEEM tied to your identity? That is to ask, do you define yourself by how you feel about yourself or is your identity not affected by the roller coaster ride of SELF ESTEEM. Most of the time our self esteem is affected by:

how we look;
how much money we have;
how much success is heaped on us;
how old we are;
how much we are liked by others.

You see self esteem is SITUATIONAL but a healthy identity is not. You are who you are regardless of the trappings of self esteem so be your beautiful selves daily. Dig deep and regardless of circumstance believe in your gifts each day. Actually an exercise that helps me is to list at least 5 positive traits about myself monthly such as:

I am a person of beliefs and integrity;
I am an intelligent person;
I have a distinct and strong character;
I am consistence in my beliefs and behaviors.

Don’t be tossed by the trappings of self esteem. You are who you are today and you will be a better you tomorrow and you will never be the person you were yesterday ever again!

Fitness

Do you strive to learn something new each day? If you have this philosophy then you will be in a constant state of improvement. There are just as many people that want to do just enough to “arrive”. Everyone is looking for a quick fix, but what they really need is mental and emotional fitness. People who look for fixes stop doing what’s right when pressure is relieved. People who pursue mental, spiritual and emotional fitness do the right thing no matter what the circumstances are.

Have a GREAT FITNESS today. Don’t concentrate on the “waves” of circumstances and keep your eye on your prize no matter what it is. Keep heart and don’t lose your focus!

Oasis

It is so vital to recharge your mental and spiritual batteries on a daily basis and
sometimes it helps just to be away and enjoy your love ones. I saw a "TODAY" program news article this morning about how couples in today's world live together but also apart. The business of day-to-day living prevents them from sharing their hopes, frustrations and dreams with their significant other. The formula for a successful relationship is being able to share without the fear of criticism.

I hope that each of you has that type of safe haven in your lives -- an oasis that protects you from the buffeting that we all get from the world. It can be your mother, father, spouse, or best friend, which is hopefully your spouse, when you have committed to a marriage. Take care of yourselves today and have a GREAT day.

Giving

Isn’t it great to get a regular paycheck every two weeks? Please remember those in our current economy that are less fortunate than us and if you are able to assist others to get a job please do so!

Thank you to each of you for the kindness that you've shown. I appreciate each and every one of you and appreciate the growth that you allow me to see daily! It is GREAT to know you are appreciated and GREAT to appreciate others! The act of GIVING is always uplifting and leaves your heart soaring. The most precious gift is when you give of yourselves to your families, to your friends, to your coworkers and to the greater community at large. Having a Spiritual Center frees me up to be courageous enough to give, and I have never been disappointed or run on empty. I believe that through my giving spirit I protect my family; and my children and grandchildren will never be hungry or begging for bread!

Be generous with each other by giving of yourselves. Have a GREAT GIVING DAY!

Trust

TRUST is defined by Wikipedia as the trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others. Usually trust is gained over time. As you develop a relationship with others, if the relationship is important to us, we will invest the time and effort to ensure that the other person begins to understand our intent and even when bad outcomes happen, we will be given the benefit of the doubt.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a boss, subordinate or peer that does not yield the benefit of the doubt then you can be assured that TRUST is not operative in the relationship. It may be beneficial at that point to address this issue head on with the person you need a relationship with. Understand, like a forest, TRUST takes many years to build and grow and can be destroyed in a matter of minutes through carelessness or reckless abandon. Protect your integrity and the TRUST others have given you on a daily basis.

Networking

CONNECTIONS! NETWORKING! INFLUENCING! The most often used mechanism by every successful person to get a head is “networking”. Whether you are trying to get a promotion, a new position, close a business deal or get people to assist you in a project—YOU HAVE TO NETWORK! Very seldom do any of us get a head because of our skills—to use your skills you HAVE TO GET IN THE DOOR. The door opens because you have INFLUENCE with a network. Connections are absolutely critical if you want to influence people. Before you can get any one to go on a JOURNEY WITH YOU have to find out where they are on the continuum you find yourself on and then make it their business to join you there.

I can categorically tell you that they will never be on your path if you are negative or berate them. All of us need others to project our interests forward and to promote our positions (a rising tide lifts all boats), so why do we turn off the very people we need to assist us? Don’t be a turtle and hide in your shell, only to let catastrophe happen. The excuse that “you told everyone that bad things would happen if you were not listened to” is not an EXCUSE FOR INACTION! Get out of your shell and make positive things happen by being a positive person that can network and influence others.

Have a GREAT NETWORKING DAY!

When Independence Becomes Individualism

If team members are willing to give of themselves generously to the team, then it is being set up to succeed. In America, independence and individualism is highly valued because it is seen as a sign of innovation, hard work and a willingness to be pioneers. I too embrace those qualities. However, I have learned over time that independence taken too far is a characteristic of SELFISHNESS, a need to emphasize the “I” in independence. Too much independence focused on self will begin to harm or hinder others. Here’s a barometer. If you find yourself in conversations, criticizing the efforts of others when they fall short of the mark or even if not in conversation, thinking the same thoughts, then you have gone past the point of independence and are in the lonely country of individualism. We all fall short from time to time and an investment in others will ensure that even if you stumble you will never hit the ground. In the words of Mr. Spock of STAR TREK, “The needs of the many, always outweigh the needs of the few, the needs of the one!

Williams Sisters 2

By now you should know that Venus and Serena Williams played for the title at Wimbledon and that Venus won! It was a blessing to see these two women vie for the championship of a game that traditionally does not attract African Americans. They were also the last two Americans to represent our country at this British tennis match. Another 1st also occurred at Wimbledon with Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer for the championship at Wimbledon. Since Nadal also won the French Open he accomplished something that has been accomplished in 28 years – some one to win both the French Open and Wimbledon in the same year.

All these athletes embody the characteristics of winners that even in the face of at time insurmountable odds they persist to go that extra mile. Whether your extra mile is to put an extra our in to study or put the effort in to lose the last 10 pounds or to grit your teeth when one of our customers is less that polite, you are Winners each day you put that extra mile in.

Williams Sisters

I am actually writing this message on Wednesday July 2, 2008 because I was listening to the radio and was overwhelmed at how much progress we have made ad a country. The news article centered around the fact that THE ONLY AMERICANS LEFT TO REPRESENT OUR COUNTRY AT THE WIMBLETON TENNIS TOURNAMENT IN THE UK ARE TWO AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN WITH THE LAST NAME OF WILLIAMS!

What struck me was the announcer’s ease of indicating that the two remaining AMERICANS were the Williams sisters, who happened to be African American. I can remember when the only African American that had graced Wimbledon was Althea Gibson and then after her Arthur Ashe.

In a year where a major Presidential candidate is African American, I think it is appropriate to celebrate the independence of our generation from the bondage of racism and oppression. We have all come a long way and I am proud to be an American! Truly we are living history and living in an age that Martin Luther King dreamed—that we would all be evaluated and appreciated for the CONTENT OF OUR CHARACTER AND NOT THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN!

As an immigree to these shores, I am proud to be part of the good ole US of A! Have a celebratory 4th of July and stay safe!

Cast Your Net Where You Have Never Cast

I recently heard a very interesting story. It was about some fishermen who had returned from fishing and HAD NO FISH. When this prophet walked by their boats, he noticed that they had no fish and were washing their nets. Apparently, fishermen wash their nets when they are ready to call it a day. The prophet inquired why they were putting their nets away as they had caught no fish and therefore would not have any income for the day and would not eat.

The responses ranged from:

we’re tired of going out with our boats every morning and coming back without any fish;
the gas prices are too high to keep taking our boats out and not being guaranteed a catch;
its hot in the boats;
what’s the use of trying, we’re just going to come back without any fish.

So the prophet remarked; “you will be assured of no fish if you don’t go back out and you are assured of catching fish if you cast your net often enough as fish only live in water. If you cast you net long enough, often enough and in areas you have never cast your net before, you will catch fish.”

One of the fishermen heard the message and decided to take his boat out and this time he took his boat to an area of the sea he had never fished before. As soon as he cast his net, it was over filled with fish. When he returned to the shore, those fishermen who did not go back out to sea were envious and criticized the successful fisherman for not sharing his catch.

Which boat are you in when faced with challenges and disappointment. One thing is sure—when you give up you will reap what you sow—nothing!

Bring Out Your Best

When is the last time you met someone that brought the BEST out in you? When is the last time you worked to bring the BEST out in others? When you work to bring the best out of others, you are giving them BEST part of you which will leave SPACE which then gets filled with blessings! If you never give of yourself, there is no opportunity to RECEIVE the blessings that have been earmarked JUST FOR YOU! Try today to bring the Best out of others and watch your blessings come pouring in; or continue to be stuck in the MIRE of SELF-CENTERED behavior and watch the video of your life being played out in the land of un-fulfilled opportunities. The choice is yours!

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN

This is one of the nicest e-mail's I have seen and it is so true:

I dreamed I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are Received.' I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them." I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," My angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.

"How is it that there is no work going on here?" I asked.

"So sad!" the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments."

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.

"Simple!" the angel answered. Just say, "Thank You, Lord."

I asked, "What Blessings should they acknowledge?"

"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world."

"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish,you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy."

"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

Also....."If you woke up this morning with more health than illness... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.

If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, You are envied by and more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married...You are very rare.

If you can hold your head up and smile, You are not the norm, You're unique to all those in doubt and despair."

"OK, now what? How can I start?"

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing, Someone was thinking of you as very special and You are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, Count your blessings, and If you want, pass this along just to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.:

"Thank You Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with."

Road map

What’s your response, when you have bad outcomes because you IGNORED good counsel? In your walk in LIFE, people will be put in your life to provide you with:

a road map to success;
a road map to good health;
a road map to a healthy mental state; and
a road map for relief from discomfort.

This advice always requires that YOU participate and probably make changes that allow the NATURAL state of health, wealth and joy to take over. The folk providing you with the road map have traveled the road of sorrow, lack of wealth and health and therefore are experts in recognizing the signs and symptoms in others. Instruction for positive thinking and positive living is always a GIFT so accept it and use it wisely. That person may never cross your path again and you will have missed the BLESSING that has your name on it.

Customer Service

I was at Home Depot over the weekend purchasing some items for my usual weekend projects. The young woman waiting on me at the cash register was talking on her cell phone as opposed to providing me with customer service. When her supervisor admonished her to hang the phone up she became very disgruntled. In my usual style I asked her why she was on her phone when she was in a position to provide customer service. I also reminded her how difficult it was to get and hold a job these days –to her credit she thanked me and told me to have a good day (uh-huh).

The same day I was shopping at Publix and the check out lines were all backed up so the manager called available personnel to bag. My “bagger” was the Meat Manager. After I did a double take he very enthusiastically bagged my groceries and then took them to my car. Our conversation centered on the “new” Publix culture of doing what ever it takes to bring customers back because, he said, Publix had been loosing customers to Sam's and Krogers and they decided that if they couldn’t compete on price they would compete on SERVICE.

What a contrast with respect to SERVICE and understanding the value of customers. Which example best fits your approach to our customer?

Giving

Giving is the highest level of living and the more a person gives, the better their attitude. Most unsuccessful people don’t understand this concept. They believe that how much people give and their attitude about it are based on how much they have. But that’s not true. I know many people who have very little but are tremendous givers. They are very GENEROUS and are HAPPY.

I also know people who have been blessed with money, good families and wonderful career who are stingy and suspicious of others and very unhappy. These people are always looking a GIFT HORSE in the mouth and never realize their potential because of their stingy attitude toward life. Yes, people with money and good careers are also unsuccessful in LIFE.

In life, it’s not what you have that makes a difference, it’s you do with what you have.

Communication

Management gurus teach that COMMUNICATION is a vital ingredient for success. Effective communication is a rare commodity because most of us talk AT each other as opposed to having a commitment to communicate with one anther. Here are three (3) keys to successful communication:

Be consistent with your message.
Be clear in you measure.
Be courteous when communicating. Never be pulled into non-courteous communication even when others want to participate.

Never forget that as winners, your communication sets the tone for the interaction among those with whom you work with and lead!

Farming

There is a concept in Marketing that is also found in farming. People who make their living in “sales” understand that you have to:

send out 10 sales quotes to close 1 deal;
you can’t get discouraged when you hear the 9 “no”s before you get the 1 yes;
the most important thing is to get the quotes in the “pipeline” because nothing in the pipeline means that there will be nothing at the end of the day;
recurring business is the icing on the cake because you can count on that revenue and that revenue is not dependent on new sales.

Farmers likewise under stand that:

When planting you have to sow seeds liberally;
The more a farmer sows the more he will reap;
You can’t harvest what you haven’t planted;
Once a harvest occurs you then have to put resources back into the land to get ready for the next season; and
Although you may have land if you don’t plant you don’t eat.

Success in anyone’s life follows both the farmer and the sales person. A lot of folk stop investing in their future when they have set backs. My belief is that if you provide a vision for folk that allows them to understand that set backs are very common when you are pursuing goals so celebrate the setbacks because they are the compose for future earnings. The time not to stop is when you hit an obstacle; that’s the time to forge ahead.

You may not know where you’re forging or what other obstacles you may encounter, however the act of forging is the same act of “sowing seeds” or making those 10 sales calls. One thing is certain, the sales person who doesn’t make quotes or the farmer that doesn’t sow seeds will never reap a harvest. Just like the farmer and sales person, don’t focus on the individual seeds sowed or the sales quote provided but look ahead and make sure that the seeds sowed and the sales quotes provided are nurtured, watered and freed from the weeds of doubt so that you can prepare to reap what you have sowed. The harvest always comes; those of us that sow positive energy will surely reap our rewards.

Generosity

Are you a generous person? If I looked up generosity in Webster’s Dictionary or Wikipedia, would I see your face? Generosity is defined as the HABIT or CHARACTER of Giving. Contrasted to Generosity is the trait of ONLY LOOKING OUT FOR YOURSELF. How do you distinguish between the two character types?

When you meet a GENEROUS PERSON you will meet a person who:

encourages you to think the best of yourself;
encourages you to think the best of others;
will teach you how to fish and give you a fish;
will help you laugh at yourself by laughing at themselves;
doesn’t care whose right but cares that RIGHT is upheld;
takes care of the problem without laying blame;
holds up a MIRROR for introspection;
has the courage to provide critical feedback to you;
takes responsibility for their actions; and
provides assistance without being asked.

When you meet a self-centered person you will meet a person who:

encourage you to break rules;
encourage you to cut corners;
thinks first about what is best for them;
is more concerned about proving that they are right;
helps you think the worst about yourself;
doesn’t understand the concept that a RISING TIDE HELPS ALL BOATS;
would rather harm themselves before helping you;
is the first to point out your weaknesses;
implicates you as the problem even though they were the instigator; and
feels they are persecuted 100% of the time.

WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR OF YOUR OWN LIFE WHO DO YOU SEE?

Challenge

The sermon we had in church yesterday was the value of a challenge. Challenge tests the metal from which you are built and as any molding process the heat, pressure and stress required to develop a discipline and an attitude of hard work is the reason why challenges are necessary. His message was to ignore the folk that will tell you that success comes easy—actually success is a result of hard work and persistence—learning from both your successes and failure. Don’t get discouraged when faced with challenges – talking yourself into giving up only means that you will face that lesson/challenge again. Be of good courage as the challenge you may be facing is common to man and can be conquered!

Tiny Frogs

Someone shared this story with me and I thought I would share it with you. I think the story is not only cute but defines what can make us GREAT.

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began and no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

Oh, this is WAY too difficult!
They will NEVER make it to the top. or
Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!'
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, 'It is too difficult!!! No one will make it! More tiny frogs got tired and gave up but ONE continued higher and higher and higher. This one wouldn't give up and kept climbing! At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? He just kept smiling and did not answer because as it turned out the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic, because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you.
Negative thinking will erase the dreams you have in your heart!
Always think of the power that words have.
Everything you hear and read will affect your actions so be careful what you put in your heart and mind!
ALWAYS be POSITIVE and believe in your own vision.
Turn a DEAF ear to people who will tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Be a Leader; Not a Follower

Here are steps you can take daily to be a leader and not a follower:

Have the courage to be wrong.
Most of us make excuses for our mistakes as opposed to just saying we didn’t know or don’t possess the expertise we need to perform at optimal levels. What you will be rewarded with is knowledge and skill when you admit you were wrong.

Have the courage to be secure in your knowledge.
When asked a question speak your mind and understanding, this behavior will encourage your supervisors to either enhance your knowledge base or correct it.
Have the courage to follow the company rules and not to try and bend them for your own use. Some folk think that rules are made to be broken or don’t apply to them. We should never be surprised by less than optimal outcomes that affect us personally when we fail to follow the rules.

When a disagreement happens, look to yourself first and find the blame there as opposed to focusing on others. Remember when you point a finger at someone there are four pointing back at you.

Have the courage to correct your peers who prevent you from performing the best. Why follow behind someone who is dishonest or headed for disaster?

Leaders have original thought and have the courage of their convictions. Leaders strive to make their environment and yours better. Leaders have a VISION for a better tomorrow. Leaders take their BIG PERSON pill daily so that they respond to the challenges of life and make them opportunities. You have the choice daily to be a leader and not a follower.

Be a Leader; Not a Follower

Here are steps you can take daily to be a leader and not a follower:

Have the courage to be wrong.
Most of us make excuses for our mistakes as opposed to just saying we didn’t know or don’t possess the expertise we need to perform at optimal levels. What you will be rewarded with is knowledge and skill when you admit you were wrong.

Have the courage to be secure in your knowledge.
When asked a question speak your mind and understanding, this behavior will encourage your supervisors to either enhance your knowledge base or correct it.
Have the courage to follow the company rules and not to try and bend them for your own use. Some folk think that rules are made to be broken or don’t apply to them. We should never be surprised by less than optimal outcomes that affect us personally when we fail to follow the rules.

When a disagreement happens, look to yourself first and find the blame there as opposed to focusing on others. Remember when you point a finger at someone there are four pointing back at you.

Have the courage to correct your peers who prevent you from performing the best. Why follow behind someone who is dishonest or headed for disaster?

Leaders have original thought and have the courage of their convictions. Leaders strive to make their environment and yours better. Leaders have a VISION for a better tomorrow. Leaders take their BIG PERSON pill daily so that they respond to the challenges of life and make them opportunities. You have the choice daily to be a leader and not a follower.

What is magnified in your life

What are you committed to? Though leaders indicate that you can tell what a person is committed to by looking at what is magnified in their life. For instance:

If a person is committed to making money they will have money.
If a person is committed to eating they will be over weight.
If a person is committed to doing drugs that is what will consume them on a daily basis.
If a person is committed to excellence they are content knowing they have done the best they can daily.
If a person is committed to mediocrity they will always have an excuse.
If a person is committed to entitlement then they will always have an excuse why less than optimal outcomes are never their problem.
If you are committed to change then you are a change agent.
If you are committed to looking for the best in people then that is what you will find.
If you are committed to procrastination then your life will always be what it could have been.
Look at what is magnified in your life and you will know what you are committed to.

Have a GREAT committed day!

Monday Morning Quarterbacks

Do you know what an opportunity looks like? Many people are able to recognize an opportunity after it’s already passed them by …but seeing opportunities coming, that a different matter and WINNERS have this ability. When Columbus came back from his journeys and proved that the world was indeed round and not flat, everyone had something to say about how they would have done it differently. His answer was simply, where were you when I needed financial support and people to help me sail the open seas? Anyone can be a Monday morning quarterback; it takes the rare person to be Columbus, Rosa Parks, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Hilliary Clinton or a DREAM MAKER!

Opportunities are seldom labeled. That’s why you have to learn what they look like and how to seize them. The best people make it their responsibility to go out and find them. Walter Chrysler said, “The reason so many people never get anywhere in life is because when opportunity knocks, they are out in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers”.

Let’s all be on the porch and meet Opportunity Before It Knocks! Have a GREAT DAY finding opportunities!

Making a living; Making a life

It’s been said that we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. I have found this to be true of my own life—I benefit personally through generosity and when I forget this lesson my SPIRIT suffers.

Helping others is something you can start doing today, whether it’s spending more time with your family, developing an employee who shows potential, helping people in the community, putting your own desires on hold to benefit your team. Remember the needs of the many far out weigh the needs of the one. The key is to find your purpose and help others while you’re pursuing it.

Have a GREAT and GIVING DAY

Adding Value

Here’s a thought. When people think about you, do they say to themselves, “My life is better because of that person?” To succeed personally, you must try to help others. In fact, I believe that you can get everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want.

How can you turn your focus from yourself and start adding value to others—well you can put others first in your thinking, you can find out what others need and then meet that need with generosity and excellence. The very act of giving enlarges you and the blessing you will receive.

Father's Day

Father’s Day is this Sunday so take good care of your father’s, the father of your children, your brothers and any male influence that have assisted in the care and nurturing of children in your family! “Dads” and “Moms” are such precious resources. I miss mine every day and strive to provide the security to my “crumb crushers” that my parents provided to me.

Security is a comfort that allows our children to explore with developing fear. That jest for exploration is the fuel to success that we talk about daily. So to all of you that provide security and nurturing for the next generation, a BIG THANK YOU!

The scorpion and the turtle

Have you heard the parable about the turtle and the scorpion? Once a turtle and a scorpion found themselves stranded on the side of a rising river. The turtle was going to cross the river before the current became too strong. The scorpion asked whether he could ride the turtle’s back across the river. The turtle rightly answered NO! The turtle told the scorpion that he wasn’t crazy and wouldn’t give the scorpion a chance to sting him and kill him.

The scorpion said, “Look, why would I sting you? I will be on your back and if I sting you and you drown, I will drown with you. I don’t want to die so trust me I won’t sting you.” The turtle thought, yeah why would he sting me and kill himself so the turtle agreed and allow the scorpion to climb onto his back.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the turtle on the soft part of his neck. The turtle turned around and asked why the scorpion would do that as the turtle was becoming paralyzed and no longer able to swim. The scorpion simply answered, “That’s what I do; I sting things.” The turtle then answered, “But now we will both die.” The scorpion simply said, “You knew I was a scorpion when you allowed me to climb onto your back”.

Obviously, you can draw many conclusions from this story. What I found interesting is that the turtle allowed calamity into his life by ignoring the obvious! We are in control of what we allow to rule our day – don’t be a turtle and ignore those signs and symptoms that will eventually lead you to negative outcomes. You are the master of your own destiny daily!

Takes a Village

What motivates people to either give you there best or something that falls short of the mark? Do some people wake up each day with a conscious thought just to “mess up”? Do people really do the best they can do even though their outcome leaves a lot to be desired? When you are in a leadership role, in your professional or personal life and encounter behavior or outcomes that are contrary to your expectations you probably go through this decision tree matrix. The frustrating proposition for managers is that even after you provide instruction, some folk still continue down a path that is less that desirable for them and for you. The question is what should you do?

Some management gurus suggest that folk do the best they can each day and that you should wait and “catch” them performing at optimal levels and then praise them. They also suggest that during the intervals that you have to wait for these folk to perform at optimal levels you should just provide consistent feedback. These management gurus have long ago fallen out of favor as companies found out that this process could run you into bankruptcy. More recent management gurus suggest that the critical factor is choosing the right people for the job and then investing in their success. This frame of reference would then pick experienced people from inexperienced people, thereby limiting the pool of folk who are provided opportunities.

Some management gurus suggest that strong leadership is the only thing needed for an organization to succeed. Well if that were true then ENRON would still be in business and GE would still be a world market leader.

My guess is that it takes a “village” not to only raise children but also a successful company which suggest that everyone in the village is working for the success of the village and not their own individual position in the village. That takes each of us examining our own motivations and work behaviors daily. This level of introspection is healthy for me and I suspect can be healthy for all that partake in the activity. Being part of a village is a great thing as villages both protect us and provide sustenance. We each then owe it to the village to be good citizens and provide sustenance back!

Crabs in a Basket

Here’s a thought. If you have ever gone crabbing on a shore line you already know this lesson. If you have only one crab in a basket you need to keep the lid on your basket to prevent the crab from crawling out. When there are several crabs in that basket the lid is not necessary because the crabs will drag one another down so that none of them can get away.

A lot of unsuccessful people act the same way. They’ll do things to keep others from getting ahead. They spread false rumors, they are busier pointing out your failures as opposed to your successes, they will not allow you to stand on their shoulders because they are convinced that you will never help them when given a chance. Crabs truly do not understand that a RISING TIDE LIFTS ALL BOATS!

The good news is that if you observe someone trying to be a CRAB you don’t have to buy into their belief system. You can get out of the “basket” by refusing to be a CRAB. Be the COFFEE BEANS that you are and have a great day and great weekend.

Don't take kindness for weakness

Good Morning Team and What a Glorious Morning It Is! Remember that Winners have Intelligence, Integrity, Maturity, Consistency, Character, Persistence, HOPE, a Belief in CHANGE and CHEESE!

There is a trait that I have struggled to obtain my entire life – HUMILITY which is defined by Wikipedia as a quality or characteristic ascribed to a person who is considered to be humble. A humble person is generally thought to be unpretentious and modest: someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others.

Now I have also found that while people say they like unpretentious and modest people, modest and unpretentious people are not rewarded or seen as leaders. Just remember all of the statements made about Senator Clinton or Senator Obama when folk thought they were “too humble”. Most often, they are taken advantage of.

What is it about human character that we take advantage of humble people; why is humility taken as a weakness? There in lies the lesson of why the human race is destined for failure. If more of us could value the virtues of the humble person and more humble people were in positions of leadership, the world would be a better place! I often embrace the concept of “don’t take kindness for weakness” and find that people often mistake kindness as a form of weakness and begin to test the limits of your kindness. That is so disappointing isn’t it? Disappointment notwithstanding, I continue to struggle with my quest for humility because every now and then my kindness is returned and this simple act energizes me. I think it would also energize you if you tried it.

Have a GREAT and humble day.

Historic Time

What a HISTORIC time we are living in!  No matter what is happening to you personally no one can ignore the historic day we experienced yesterday!  All Americans, collectively and individually can feel proud that they voted for a GREAT candidate and did not allow race or gender to dissuade them.  Whether you voted for Senator Obama, Senator Clinton or Senator McCain you voted which means you participated and exercised your constitutional right as an American. A lot of healing went on yesterday and it’s up to each one of us to carry on the good fight. The WORLD is watching and Americans can feel proud!  

How can anyone be upset or sad today having lived through HISTORY yesterday?  REJOICE and be the wonderful people you are. Be encouraged because even in the recession we are experiencing there is CHANGE in the wind!  You saw WINNERS yesterday! You saw folk who exemplify the characteristics of WINNERS. You saw many glass ceilings shatter yesterday which then allows us to hold on to hope no matter what we may personally be experiencing.

You are the reason good things happen! You are the reason to get up each morning!  You are the reason we will succeed!  

Don't turn succeses into failures

We are all born with a limited amount of heart beats! We don’t usually have to think about our heart beating—it does its job everyday and is usually ignored until it lacks oxygen (angina) or begins to fail (congestive heart failure). I also believe that we are born with a limited amount of failures and successes. Yes I truly believe that the failures we will experience are finite -- that is unless you turn your success into failures.

Have you watched the French Tennis Open? I follow the William sisters and love their enthusiasm and raw power. I believe they start each game and have the game won. Then I begin to see them defeat themselves with un-forced errors. When you look at the statistics, it isn’t that their opponent was better, it is that each sister GAVE their opponents the points they need to win. In essence they defeat themselves.

I believe that this principle is operative in life. We awake each day with successes waiting to happen and then provide opportunities for failure because we didn’t follow through on the pathway to success. Our job each day is to follow the path to success. That could mean we 1) think before we act; 2) we strive to do it right the 1st time; 3) we help each other; 4) you speak a kind word; 5) you don’t think the worst of people; and 6) you don’t participate in idle gossip.

If you close the day out and don’t think it has been successful then review the day so that you don’t repeat those behaviors that send your successes into the failure column.

Self Development

Have you explored the difference between SELF FULFILLMENT and SELF DEVELOPMENT?  Beginning in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, people began talking about “finding themselves”.  Some of us who were growing up during that period were confused with this concept because we didn’t know we were lost!  Those folk who engaged and are engaging in the pursuit of “finding themselves”  are usually searching for a way to become self fulfilled. When you talk to them the conversation usually focuses on how they can achieve a state of happiness and feeling good. 

I think the pursuit of self development is a higher calling; it is the development of our potential so that we can fulfill the purpose for which we were created. No matter how it makes us feel, self-development always has one effect- it draws us toward our destiny!  

Will Smith’s movie probably should have been termed “The Pursuit of Self Development” instead of the “Pursuit of Happyness” as his character epitomized a person who was invested in his destiny through self-development.  His wife on the other hand epitomized the pursuit of self fulfillment. Both characters truly thought their idea was correct.  However, as the movie aptly demonstrated, because they could not align their disparate visions they were not able to pull together in their pursuits.  They were indeed unequally yoked!

No victories at bargain prices

Winners always have self-discipline. There are no victories at bargain prices—taken another way you are more valuable to yourself, to your family and the greater society at large that you owe it to yourself to invest the time and energy to be great human beings!

When it comes to self discipline, people either choose one of two things: 1) Either they choose the pain of discipline which comes from sacrifice and growth or 2) they choose the pain of regret, which comes from taking the easy road and missing opportunities. Either way you choose and pay a price. Wouldn’t it be better to invest in your future as opposed to fleeting pleasures? Those of us who used credit cards heavily are now understanding that lesson!

Self discipline will also give you the persistence and character to DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

Sense of Purpose

Do you have a strong sense of purpose for your life? Can you name 10 people that you know that have a strong sense of purpose for their lives? Management experts teach that the number of people today who lack a strong sense of purpose is astounding. In fact the pundits offer that:

50% of people don’t pay any attention to where they are going;
40% of people are undecided and will go in any direction; and
9% of people know what they want but don’t make provisions to get what they want:
1% of people create the direction all of us have to follow because these folk create change.

Can you think of life before Microsoft Windows; can you think of life before cellular phones; can you think of life before facsimiles; can you think of life before OPEC; can you think of life before Velcro; can you think of travel before 9/11? All these events that now shape our lives were created by the 1% of people who shape our lives. The sad thing for me is that all of us have the seed to produce change and most of us ignore it and allow change to seed us.

You can determine today, however, to set your goals and then develop a plan of action to achieve them. Keep your goals simple and achievable – you may be in a place in life that your daily goal is just to get out of bed and come to work, but then don’t get stuck there! After this routine is established, then make another goal, and then achieve it. Don’t worry about set-backs or challenges. Just keep your eyes on the prize!

Have a GREAT GOAL setting day!

Naysayers

Remember that the race is not given to the SWIFT, but to those that endure to the end. Always be encouraged and not distracted by the naysayers!

If we as a team embrace the same values, then we as a team will have a connection to one another. It is important on a daily basis to articulate our team values such as DOING IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME; having integrity; using our intelligence to solve problems; and making the best of each day!

As we articulate and compare our values it becomes clear that there are always people who will not SUPPORT the common values but cannot tell you why, other than the fact that they wish not to be supportive. These TEAM members seem to always need coaching and always have a reason why SOMEONE else is the source of their problems and not THEMSELVES. When you have TEAM mates such as these, what should you do? Here are some hints:

Instead of buying into their excuses, encourage them to perform to the standards as set forth by leader.
Use yourself as the example of someone who is able to perform at the expected levels.
Encourage them not to be disgruntled.
Encourage them to seek help to improve their performance.
Encourage them to be adults and accept responsibility for their lack of performance.
Remind them that all of us face challenges and it's how we conquer the challenges that defines us as people.

NEVER JUST LISTEN without responding in a manner that promotes the TEAM. Silence is never golden with nay sayers -— they actually use your silence to state that you are in agreement with their opinion!

Misery always loves company. Don’t buy into the negative hype!

Visualize

Remember that one of the habits of highly successful people is the ability to visualize. Great vision precedes great achievement. A team without vision is at worst, purposeless. At best, it is subject to the personal and sometimes selfish agendas of various teammates.

One of the jobs of the leader is to state the vision and then keep the vision in front of the team... Now you would think that everyone could get behind a VISION that so positively affects the members we serve, but there are people who both criticize the vision and the visionary. This speaks more for their lack of leadership potential then the vision.

Remember that Einstein once said, GREAT VISIONS are always OPPOSED by Mediocre minds and people (paraphrased). Don’t be Mediocre! Decide today to be a leader. State your own vision and then get behind it!

Leadership

Now that we have covered the 7 habits of highly successful people, I want to focus on our taking those habits and gaining success both spiritually, personally and professionally as a corporation. Success is within each of us and therefore within the reach of each of us individually and collectively. Personal success requires the other twin tower, which is leadership! Success without leadership only brings limited effectiveness. A person’s impact is only a fraction of what it could be with good leadership.

Leadership is also not related to the position you hold in a company, in your family or in your own life. Martin Luther King said, we can all be leaders because we can all serve. True leaders understand the concept of willful and voluntary service.

Someone I know used to work as a secretary in a law firm. As the secretary her duties included getting coffee for her boss, answering his phones, sorting his correspondence and keeping his calendar. One day her boss was having a meeting and asked that she wipe down the chalk board. She was not happy that she was asked and instead of wiping down the chalk board fully she only wiped down that portion of the board she could reach.

She was never asked to wipe the chalk board again, but who won the “contest”? In this situation the “second mile” would have been to wipe the entire board because at the point you are walking the second mile you are in control and the one imposing the task on you. All of us can demonstrate leadership in our specific roles. Leadership will take place when we can learn the lesson of servitude with gladness in our hearts.

Look at our economy and the economy of other countries. Those countries in which each person is invested in the success of the country, like China and India, are winning because they are all working with one common purpose. Think of how great our organization would be if none of us cared who got the credit or the BLAME!

Sharpen the Saw

We are on the 7th habit of highly effective people.

All highly effective and successful people “Sharpen the Saw”. This is the concept of balanced satisfaction! You work hard and then you engage in carefully selected recreational activities. The key here is that recreation follows hard work and the recreation we involve ourselves in should fill the purpose of enriching our lives. There are example of folk who work all the time and example of folk who engage in recreational activities all the time. Successful people balance the two!

To review, the 7 habits of highly successful people are:

Be proactive.
Begin with an end in mind.
Put first things first.
Think win/win.
Seek first to understand, then be understood.
Synergize.
Sharpen the saw.

Put these 7 habits into place and watch what happens in your life!

SYNERGIZE

Let’s continue to discover the seven (7) habits of highly effective people.

Habit six (6) is to SYNERGIZE! People who synergize collaborate in decision-making and value differences. Folk that have the maturity to synergize have learned to build upon each other's strengths. Through exploring the differences which make all of us great, SYNERGIZERS succeed by building on the strengths and weaknesses of each person on the team. They have learned as Mr. Spock said in STAR TREK – "The needs of the many out-weigh the needs of the few or the one." The strengths of the many promote the interests of us all! The WHOLE IS ALWAYS GREATER THAN THE SUM OF ITS PARTS.

Seek first to understand

Well we’re at lesson five (5) in our journey to learn the seven (7) habits of extremely successful people. We have covered:

Being proactive;
Having the end game in mind;
Putting 1st things 1st; and
Thinking win-win when confronted with conflict.

The 5th lesson is “seeking first to understand, then to be understood”. This concept deals with listening. How often do you really listen to another person? If we are honest what we mostly do is evaluate and judge the other person because of the “video” we have running in our heads about that person. That’s what prejudice is all about. We all have video clips running in our heads-those videos have been placed in our heads and hearts by our parents, by our experiences, what is said by others, or our own experiences. What if we erased all the preconceived videos and just tried to experience each other on a fresh basis with each new interaction. Wouldn’t the world be a better place? You have the power to erase the video clips in your head that are negative not only for others but more important FOR YOURSELF!

Win/ Win

In continuing with the Seven (7) Habits of Extremely Successful people, Lesson Four (4) is “”Think Win/Win”. When you adopt the attitude of Win-Win you have an attitude whereby mutually beneficial solutions are sought that satisfy not only your needs but in the case of conflict, both parties involved in the conflict. This is probably not how most of us operate. We too often think that the only way “I can get what I want” is to adopt an attitude that “I need to make sure your needs are not met”.

Actually when we live our lives with the concept that a “Rising tide lifts all boats”, then we will live with an attitude of Win-Win. I don’t need to beat you down to feel important— we are all important, successful and special in and of our selves. In fact, the next time you are in a conflict practice this strategy and you will find that the other person will be more prone to look at themselves and how they contributed to the conflict as opposed to trying to lay blame on you!

Have a GREAT HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL day. Be proactive (Habit 1), remember your end game (habit 2), put 1st things 1st (Habit 3) and adopt a Win-Win attitude. You are successful people; let’s work on becoming highly successful/

Prioritize

Continuing with our exploration of the Seven (7) Habits of Highly Effective People, Lesson Three (3) is focused with the concept of “put First Things First”. This concept involves a person’s ability to PRIORITIZE efforts that will lead to short term goals and immediate gains at the expense of effort that may appear to be urgent but has no benefit what so ever.

I often hear employees talk about how “hard” they work. This is about working smart and not hard. A smart skill to learn is the art of delegation. Delegation allows you to magnify yourself through others and thus getting more done with the limited time you have. Again working smart and not hard.

When you are feeling frustrated because you feel like you are spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere, evaluate if you are expending energy in work that has no gain. Also evaluate why you may be stuck in the rut of high expenditure and low gain. Remember the lesson from last week; be careful not to follow behind something stupid which is what we do when we waste our energy in efforts with little or no gain.

Maya Angelou put it beautifully when she said, “Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking places, honor their credit cards, get married, have children and call that maturity. That’s not maturity it’s just AGING!

Visualize

Continuing with the 7 habits of extremely successful people, the second habit states that you should begin each day, each project, each adventure, each new phase of your life with the End in Mind! What this means is that we should each set long term goals for our lives. VISUALIZE! Form a mental picture of where you want to be next. If you have an ideal body weight and shape, visualize yourself that way and fixate on it. You will find that you will curb your eating habits and exercise habits to match your visual image of yourself. If you want wealth, then visualize yourself wealthy and you will find yourself adopting those habits that puts you in wealth and not in debt. If you want a successful business visualize what that means down to the stationary paper you will buy.

After my first marriage, I didn’t know if I wanted to be in a relationship again. After about a year, I decided that I wanted to be married again. I began to pray and visualize specifically the type of man I wanted. I stated his height, his ethnicity, his temperament, his ability to love my children, and the most important fact was that he had to share my spiritual beliefs and be MY PRINCE. I also visualized the date at which I wanted to be engaged and then married. I repeated this mantra each day and never lost site of the END GAME! Exactly in the time frame I specified I got my Prince down to EVERY detail! That makes you want to holler and cry out for help! VISUALIZATION and long term planning works! Try it! How can it hurt. You see most people don’t try this technique because they fear disappointment. The fear of disappointment is the single reason that blessings are blocked in your life.

Stop being disappointed and begin to believe in your true North Compass! Visualize your future and get out the rut of disappointment and lost!